Tired of being the bad guy

I dated someone for ten months, and although i care about him a lot, i am no longer in love with him. I stopped being happy because of a lot of stuff. I have had hurtful things said to me before, and i can normally brush them off, but coming from this person it hurt a lot. In the past month or so I lost one of my friends, i hadn't known her long, but she was one of those genuinely nice ppl. It sucks that so many ppl that i know have been dying lately. idk if its just that i notice it more now or what. 

I'm happy to be home, and my parents are awesome and are helping me out with car etc so that i can have a job and get to my internship. speaking of, i start work on monday, i am going back to mcdonalds, and on tuesday i start my internship at a local museum. idk which i am looking forward to more: the idea at getting to work with a real dark room and learning manuscript restoration and preservation, or the pay check from work. 

This coming weekend, if i get off like my boss said i could, i am petitioning to join a household in the sca. this group is awesome and my sponsor is an amazing woman who has so many interests that i do. she is such a nice lady and she is going to help me with illumination and calligraphy, everything that i have done so far has been oh this looks like it would work and the tidbits that friends have told me to try. This week i am going to work on finishing my gift to her, its a token of thanks for sponsoring me. me and her had a talk today of what i want to do with everything i am learning, and when i told her about grad school she told me about what she had gone to school for, our interests match up perfectly :) 

So the title is tired of being the bad guy, bc i am honestly tired of everyone trying to make me feel bad for things that they cause or have a hand in. i am not perfect and neither are they, one difference, i admit it and lately they have been trying to make me the sole bad guy. and its not just the ex that has been doing it which is the sad part. out of everyone that has tried it the only one that gets away with it is my dog beans, mainly bc we're now even for me going to college and not taking her with me, she ate the beading on one of my dresses. kinda sad about it, hopefully i can save more of it. I know that my policy of brutal honesty is not the nicest one, but i would rather tell you the honest truth than try to "protect" you from it. just how i am. there are times where i will not say something, if it isnt my place to, but other than that all bets are off if you are doing something stupid or something you know is wrong. bc i dont like those shenannigans. 

and as it is now close to bed time, i looked over and guess who stole my teddy bear and half my pillows: beans, looks like she is one upping me again lol. Honestly, i missed my dog something fierce, she has been my baby since sixth grade, and in eighth grade, after i came home from the hospital the first time, she cemented herself as mine for life when she growled at my parents for trying to move her away from me. she protects me, and as much as i can i protect her from the dread *gasp* bath. well, until she smells like a goat. then she has to get one. hasta luego