catch up

So its been since January, I have been working my  butt off so that I keep up in classes and such and try to avoid as much drama as I can. Life is hard as per usual and I am finding more and more often that I am way different from people my own age, my mom might be right about me being 21 turning forty, its how I view the world.

Doing all my work hurts my social life, it is pretty much non-existent. I am getting more and more stressed as I try to get everything finished but I have been able to get six papers written, all of my citations are now done for my big 25 page paper on the Salem Witch Trials, and I only have one last test in my online cyberpolitics class. It was a pretty cool class but def. ready for this summer.

I am going to be doing an internship at one of the local museums, and I am nervous about doing it, mainly because we are moving everything from one of the maintenance buildings to the new site which is bigger than the old building. The museum is about twenty minutes to thirty from my house, and since I dont have a car yet and my brother in law has to have knee surgery I may get to use his until I can afford my own.

I called and asked for my old job back at McDonalds and am waiting one them to call me back. Hopefully I get that one back and I plan to get a few more applications to work as hard and as much as I can this summer. More money means a better car, and I need one that can get me to and from school which is about two and a half hours away from home.

I still find myself thinking about Ella, and as much as I try its still hard to not feel guilty about still being here when she isn't. I try to not let it bug me, and remember that there is a reason I am still here, and right now I am trying to figure out what that is, for the last about seven eight years i have wanted to be a Professor of History, but I find myself thinking I want to see the world more and more. Got to write some more on my other papers and get them all finished with citations and all.