lalalala

So, my life has recently revolved around cleaning, or school work. this makes for a rather unhappy Sicilian. I'm tired of fighting, and def. tired of dealing with drama. Cleaning gives me an outlet to get all my anger and frustration out, and i know the boy is going to read this, not mad at him, not frustrated with him. the way that i deal with things that upset me is to internalize them, and for me its easier to keep it inside then to fight with people. 

A lot of the time this back fires on me, i get so frustrated that i blow up. in better news two of my friends are finally dating, i hope it works out for them both. 

My history paper topic for Early Middle Ages changed, couldn't find enough primary resources which was really annoying so now I am writing on the Christianization of Pagan festivals and practices which is a subject that has always kinda fascinated me. Being a History major has always been my dream, and recently I added another aspect of things to that, computers. But history has and always will be my passion, computers is something I am good at. I have a small collection of books in my room, and have about thirteen books out of the library right now which is a new personal best lol. Research is going well and all I need to do right now is type up a primary bibliography page to turn in on wednesday. 

Papers, Papers, Papers, and more Papers

Being a college student is not as easy as my parents like to make it out to be. They have been doing online schooling to get their bachelors degree, and make fun of the fact that I go to a real college and claim to have it hard. I understand that they are two separate things altogether because they are structured that way. They each have their own hardships but something my parents fail to see is that while they have assignments they do not have the course load that I do. I am taking eighteen credits (my own fault but need to to be able to graduate on time), and the classes I am taking are not the easiest things in the world. I have two fifteen page research papers I need to write, a bibliography essay because of another class, has to be research into my research, whether its good research or not. And then there are my "easy" classes. Art appreciation was supposed to be an easy credit class to fulfill a gen. ed. same with Contemporary issues in biology. Neither one is living up to this. I have article critiques and other assignments in bio which take forever, and I have a ton of "easy" assignments according to my teacher which require art skills I do not have. The art class makes me cringe because there is so much wrong information given about historical aspects of art. Its really hard for me to not cringe in that class. And so this ends my rant and i no longer feel the need to cry from frustration over papers :) in better mood I am getting my Pennsic presentation ready for the honors program which is going to be in October. Its almost done and all I have left is to add some informational slides. :)

blogging

So I don’t normally blog things, tried a tumbler account and failed at ever using it. Might be on this one more bc my roommate has one too and she might possibly bully me into ranting on here. the past two months have prob been some of the strangest but best for me of my life. I started dating a great guy who makes me happy and I don’t feel like he ignores me or keeps from letting me close. it’s a little weird bc for the past couple relationships I have been in I was the mature one and now he is. which is funny bc now I can act childish sometimes which is nice. well more than sometimes, pretty much most of the time. but it’s nice to not be worried that he isn't going to accept that side of me. so since its sept 11 I will add a section of my blog: 

Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of ranks...you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and in God we trust.

I don’t think that I will ever forget that day for the rest of my life, it’s one of the few things that makes me cry just from the memory of how scared I was bc my uncle was in the process of moving into the trade towers. we didn’t know where he was or if he was alive for a couple of days. I remember my teacher being told to turn on the TV by one of the other teachers just long enough to tell us what had happened before the school shut off the TVs so that the students didn’t get terrified. I was worried all the way until I got home, and when I did its one of three times I have ever seen my father cry. one was at his mother’s death and one was at the hospital when he was told I had cancer. it was the hardest thing I have ever had to see, to see a man strong as steel break into tears bc his family couldn’t get in touch with him. not knowing if they were ok or not. 

Ok so enough blogging for tonight. should go do some readings for classes.... might do it during my free time tomorrow instead lol.